Currently untittled
by Iconicole
Summary: Esmes' passing rendered everyone shattered. Circumstances led to Carlisle and Bella spending mass amounts of time together. They have more in common than anyone would have thought. How will there relationship progress? Will Edward notice? Here is a tale about a romance that should have never happened. Stephanie Meyer owns the base and characters.
1. Chapter 1

Edwards POV

There we all sat. It had to have been months since anyone moved. Pain rippled through the emotionally dense room. Carlisle was just short of living at the hospital now. Though, humans didn't question it, they assumed a husband who has just had his wife ripped from him needed the distraction. The absence of Esme left everyone debilitated. The warmth to our once well balanced and friendly home, gone in what felt like a second. Emmet was the first to break our interminable comatose. We needed to hunt. I could see the slight shimmery powder forming on the stone surfaces of my very distraught family. It would be a millennia before the idea was minutely fathomable and another after that to cope. Each and every member of our family held a place in the delicate balance that we once shared. It was as if the starting sphere to our own Newton's Cradle simply vanished. We were inert.

103 Years later

Bella's POV

We all still mourned Esme each passing day. Carlisle for obvious reasons was still lament for his missing mate. Even being the most emotionally endowed in our family, anyone losing a mate is the most inscrutable, immeasurable feeling our kind can endure.

Though with extensive time, he was able to empathize and converse again. He had warmth and kindness to his voice once more. My personal favorite was his friendly one sided smirk returning.

Eventually we returned to forks, Esme's favorite of many homes. It was odd for us, especially Carlisle but he felt a sense of comfort being back. He still wasn't the same, but a change as indelible as Esme's passing, it would influence him forever.

I opted out of the highschool scene. I decided to play the role of a homeschool weirdo. Edward hated every passing moment we weren't together. We both felt this way. Living in fear that our partners may suffer the fate that our Esme had. None the less we enjoyed each waking moment together never taking a second for granted.

Renesme was back with us. For this I was thankful. Jacob happy to be back and surrounded by his brothers of the Quileute and his great great great nieces and nephews. They didn't understand why Jacob couldn't just live with them on the reservation. But also understanding that if he couldn't watch over Renesmee each waking second he wouldn't feel whole. He was her protector. I cherish the love they share for each other, knowing my daughter wouldn't never feel un cared for or unloved brought me peace.

Edward would attend Forks High School to be close to Renesmee. Though 122 years of age renesmee still hadn't been around humans enough to function like them. She didn't know how to act as a normal sixteen year old should. This is where Edward came into play. He would accompany her the first year and then resign along with me to the homeschool fasad. Though the thought of being away from Edward 8 hours a day made me internally cringe, it was necessary. With Esme gone, me not attending school and Carlisle being forced by the Labor Department of Washington to take a long term vacation- it left me and carlisle alone in the days.

As time passed It was easy spending time with Carlisle. The more I studied the 16th century the more I understood Carlisle as a whole. A new found appreciation, I understood an important part of his character and history. This made conversing with him easy. We would spend the afternoons having discussions of my enlightenment on the events that took place from the English Civil war to Cavaliers, to supporters of Charles I, against Roundheads and parliamentary forces. To Oliver Cromwell defeating the Royalists and the Parliament demanding reforms. It includes the briefing on some of his paintings such as _Night Watch. _Carlisle would only briefly allow himself to long for his Esme, but for the most part he seemed just as entranced. We became closer, we understood each other more. We found we shared many coinciding ideologies.

It was a month into the school year. Carlisle was finished on the history of his collection of renaissance paintings when I found Edward's arms draped around my waist.

"Hello, my love. A long day it was" He whispered as he planted many alluring kisses on my neck. Polite as ever Carlisle silently stepped away

"You know, with all of this new found headspace I have now, all I can think about is the time I plan to spend with you" Understanding that he meant my ability to shield everyone's mind with ease. Edward no longer heard our family's thoughts. With the exception of Alice of course, but that was their preference. As for the rest of the family, including Edward they preferred the privacy.

At first it was difficult to manage all four of their minds at once. But with time, it became as easy as blinking, a reflex almost. Alice and Jasper were in Brazil on their honeymoon, we wouldn't be expecting them for quite some time Rosalie and Emmette were rumbling in there room. Clarlisle resigned to his study. Me and Edward returned to our Cottage for privacy.

"Anything exhilarating about another day in public high school?" I asked with a smirk lining my lips as we stepped into the front door

" , there hasn't been anything exciting about highschool since you were handed your diploma." He slowly slid down my dress as we swept away.

I hate long author notes. It pulls from the story. But it being my first chapter I feel as though I should break some things down. I have never creatively written in my life. My grammar/spelling /sentence structure is going to be wonky at times. And that's an understatement. So I apologize in advance. I would love feedback just as any other fan fictor. I have no Idea what I'm doing but I know Twilight and I will remain as close to the original book as possible. As far as personality/characteristics ect. Let me know what I am doing well, and what isn't connecting right (Dialogue, characteristics, plot) Though I am aware you are not the writers of this I would still love to atone to you guys also, thank you for taking the time to reach my first chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

Edwards POV

After another long monotonous day of highschool I was greeted by my Bellas presence. Every inch of her glistening and perfectly sculpted body never seized to hitch my breath. She stood by the back room entrance, with her arms delicately placed over one another. Today she wore a black Satin Top with a charcoal grey pencil skirt that continued no further than the top of her knee exposing her perfect legs. Her hair laid behind her shoulders in fallen curls that stopped just after the lower curve of her of her waist. Though I am usually returned an equal accession, Bella seemed deep in thought. Distress consuming her features. Now more than ever I wish I could evade her delicate brain.

A simple whisper "Bella, love." Grabbed her attention. Though a smile made an appearance, it didn't quite touch her eyes.

Worry began ball in my stomach. "Finally." She spoke as I laid a deep kiss. She returned my desire without hesitation. This calmed me quickly "What would you like to do with the remainder of our day?" I stated still holding her in my embrace.

"Let's go somewhere. Far. I've never been to our house in Debundscha. Let's go there for the weekend."

Confused by her urgency, I could never deny her of anything. "Of course, any reason for the rush? Is everything alright?"

She pondered that for a split second longer than normal. "Some time away from the house would be nice. I think I'm going stir crazy." Maybe she had been spending too much time alone.

Bellas POV

Edward would be home any minute now. I hadn't been able to make sense of my most recent interaction with Carlisle. This was just a product of us spending too much time together. It had to be. We bonded immensely over the past 5 months, grew closer. That was all. I knew getting into this life that a change in a relationship is well dramatic to say the least. We were just closer now. That is what this was. That is all this was.

"Bella, love." I peered up only to see my very cautious husband makes his way to me. In that moment anguish and guilt filled over every inch of my being for even thinking such things. As soon as I was in his embrace, and felt his lips ponder mine. I was reminded of the gut wrenching love I felt for my mate.

"Finally." I spoke as a shy smile touched my lips.

"What would you like to do with the remainder of our day?" I wanted to leave. I wanted to be as far away from Forks as possible. I wanted to soak myself in Edward. I was spending far too much time alone, and it was really affecting me.

"Let's go somewhere. Far. I've never been to our house in Debundscha. Let's go there for the weekend." I said a tad rushed- even for a vampire. "Of course, any reason for the rush? Is everything alright?"

"Some time away from the house would be nice. I think I'm going stir crazy." I stated truthfully.

After packing up a suitcase each we loaded them into the Aston. We let everyone know our plans. Nervous to inform Carlisle, yet thankful Edward couldn't read his thoughts. He was completely relaxed, reading in his study. No hint of our cryptic conversation lingered in Carlisle's expression.

Was it all in my head? Was I actually just going crazy? Thankful for this possibility, we finished our goodbyes. As Edward turned to leave the study, Carlisle's eyes shifted up, as a slight smile touched his lips I returned it quickly and followed after Edward.

The house was beautiful. Clearly a result of Esme's interior touch and Alice's upkeep through the years. Plants of various nature consumed the inside. Soft lights lined in strands in a perfect sequence through the tones flooded the living room. Various mints, greys and pale blue's complimented the green and cloudy nature that surrounded us. Much like the home in forks glass walls surrounded the structure.

The view from the northern wall of the house stared in the eye of Mount Cameroon. The waterfalls were unlike anything I've ever scene.

After soaking up the beautifully balanced home, we resigned to the bedroom. Edward unpacked, of course.

"This home is beautiful" I murmured

"Esme did take pride on this project. Obtaining the land alone.. was difficult. I didn't think the home could be any more appealing. But here you sit. How are you feeling my love?" He whispered as he made his way towards me.

Heat flushed under my skin, making its way from my calves to behind my ears. I could've sworn my heart jolted. How could he still have this affect on me?

His fingers traced up my marble arm and made their way behind my ear. His fingers intertwined with my hair and his second hand firm grabbed my waist. Our lips smashed together in perfect unison. We were made for eachother. It was the only way. Two halfs. Earth to atmosphere. Magnesium to Chloride. Whatever you want to call it. Nothing could ever be more right.

Yet there _he_ sat, clouding the back of my mind. It was like a tiny brick weighing on the back of my cerebellum. Only furthering my passion further.


	3. Chapter 3

Me and Edward enjoyed the company of ourselves for the remainder of the weekend. When Sunday came we realized it was time to return to forks. I would dread the time I would have to spend away from Edward. But somehow couldn't resist the excitement to return home.

Rosalie, Emmette, Rennesme, Jacob and Carlisle awaited our return. Rennesme greeted us first. Not hesitating to enlighten us on all of the first time highschool pleasures she was experiencing. Jacob hated the thought of her going to a public school. Being seperated from her for an entire day, was shockingly more difficult for them than it was for me and Edward.

"Can you believe how foul some people are? Prom? What a concept. I have been asked 12 times, can you believe it?" Edwards eyes sparkled in fury as the words vomited out of our daughters mouth.

"I can believe it, do you have plans to attend the dance?" I continued.

"Well yes, but I can't imagine going with anyone besides jacob. Even more people asked father."

"Really? hm" I said in return. Edward never mentioned that.

Edward looked at me with guilty eyes. Maybe I should have gone to public school. I could have saved myself a lot of.. whatever it is I'm feeling. On multiple accounts

Everyone greeted us and we returned to a normal routine. Me and Edward hunted upon arrival. We spent a sufficient amount of time with Renesmee and Jacob. It was always so blissful. Our daughter was becoming everything I imagined; funny, beautiful, smart and more importantly strong.

High School was amusing to her, human life was amusing to her. She was learning everyday, and with Edwards guidance I could see the adaption.

Everyone left for school and it came to the time sooner rather than later that me and Carlisle would have to face each other. I planned to spend as much time at the cottage as possible but I was too anxious to stay any longer, after cleaning everything imaginable for months in advance, I decided it was time to face whatever was coming. Maybe it was nothing.

He peered around the corner almost shyly. So unlike him. This gave an unsettling pretense, I felt knots forming in my stomach. I almost welcomed them.

"Bella." He started.

My eyes hesitantly met his. "No."I replied sternly. " Whatever it is. It's not real. It doesn't make sense. Don't do this. There is only one outcome."

"Why do you think Alice and Jasper aren't back? They know. Do you think I chose this? The guilt I feel? Your mate walks, he breaths. I go against mine whom sits in a grave every passing day. The guilt I feel for my son? While you ponder every day, sure of your love for Edward, I am left to ponder whatever _this_ is. That is the difference. I have no distractions."

" Do you know what it would do to him?" Dry tears formed around my eyes. "I will never be aloud to let him in my head again, let alone yours. Do you know what it would do to him? To me? I love him, more than anything, even beyond comprehension. You have to understand. This can mean nothing. It can never be anything." I refuted. So torn beyond words.

How could this have happened? It doesn't make sense. We all found our own. We were supposed to live in harmony. Esme isn't supposed to be gone. Though I've done nothing, I feel as though I have betrayed him in a million ways. Edward. Who has done everything with me in thought since we met. What is it that I have done? Pure torment consumes me.

"You must promise me, Carlisle. You will never consider this as something attainable. If Edward is ever granted permission to your thoughts, you will do everything in your power to not think of this. Whatever _this _is. Promise me Carlisle. It's not fair. For him, for you." For _Me_

Unable to comprehend my anguish he instinctively stepped towards me. He was going to comfort me. I stepped back using all of my supernatural speed. It was almost aggressive as dry tears formed around my eyes.

His distress caused an equal reaction from me. My back lash hurt him, I could see it on his face. Every fiber of my being yearned for him. How could I cause someone I cared so much for so much pain. How did this happen? I don't understand. It's so infuriating.

"I cringe at the pain this would cause my son, but what it's doing to you is even more unimaginable. I couldn't be more remorseful, Bella. Please forgive me. I don't know what I would do if you didn't."

I've never seen him so raw, I had to leave. This conversation can go on no further. It would not end well for anyone.

"I have to leave." I murmured. Anguish returned to his face. But I was gone before I could see anything else.

I've never seen him so vulnerable. Was it true what he said about Alice I didn't even think about her. Before pondering any further I dismissed any further thoughts and invested myself in hunting.

Hey guys- My goal is to post as much as possible. I know my chapters aren't very long but they will be with time and as I get more comfortable. Critical feed back is welcome. Thank you so much for taking the time to read thus far.


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